JOURNEYING WITH YOUTH
By Fr Peter Hosking SJ, Rector, Saint Ignatius’ College Adelaide
Since December 10, Australian families have been navigating a major shift, because young people under 16 can no longer have accounts on popular social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, X, or YouTube.
For some parents, this world-first change that came into effect a month ago feels like a relief. Social media has long been a source of tension at home, with parents struggling to understand why it matters so much and young people pushing back against what they see as unfair restrictions. The ban might ease some of that pressure — parents can now simply say, “It’s the law.” But it could also create new challenges. Adolescents are resourceful, and many will look for ways around the rules, such as using different VPNs. There are also concerns about privacy and the reliability of age verification technology. So, while the ban is clear, how it plays out in real life is far less certain.
For adolescents, the impact is deeply personal, even though they can still browse public content — for instance, they can watch a music video or check out a trending clip — but they won’t be able to post, comment, or create their own profiles. While there are no penalties for children or parents who try to access these platforms, companies that fail to enforce the rules could face fines of millions of dollars.
If your child seems sad, angry, or frustrated by the ban, that’s not surprising. Social media isn’t just a pastime — it’s often their main way to connect with friends, share ideas, and feel part of a community. For some, especially those who are marginalised or who find their tribe online, losing that space can feel like being cut off. This isn’t about entitlement; it’s about biology. Young people’s brains are wired for connection, and the parts that manage impulse control and big emotions are still developing. So expect strong feelings — and know they’re real.
As a parent, the most powerful starting point is empathy. Pause and listen before you speak. Resist the urge to jump in with explanations about why the ban is a good thing or why life offline is healthier. Instead, acknowledge what your child is feeling: “I understand this is really tough. The decision was made by the government, and we don’t have control over it—but I’m here to help. How about we think of some other ways for you to stay connected with your friends?”
When young people feel understood, they’re far more likely to open up — and that’s the first step toward meaningful conversation and, eventually, problem-solving. It’s more powerful to listen than to speak. Listening shows understanding and builds trust, while talking too soon can close the door to real connection.
It also helps to explain the rationale behind the ban. Young people respond better when rules make sense. Share that the goal is not just to increase safety, but also to reduce risks like addictive algorithms, doomscrolling, and cyberbullying, among others. But don’t assume that removing social media ensures their complete safety. Young people will still explore online spaces, and they need ongoing guidance to navigate risks and relationships. Keep the conversation going about their online experiences, and use those moments to build essential digital literacy skills. Help them learn how to question what they read, spot misinformation, and think critically about the content they encounter. These skills will empower them to navigate the digital world – and what lies beyond – safely and confidently.
Another way to support your child is to rebuild what social media gave them. Ask what they miss most: is it connection, creativity, or simply a way to relax? Then brainstorm alternatives together. Maybe it’s organising in-person catch-ups, scheduling FaceTime calls, or encouraging creative outlets like photography, music, or art. For relaxation, suggest activities like exercise, reading, or spending time outdoors. Young people may not know what they want right away, so give them space to feel their emotions first.
Once things settle, shift to problem-solving. Ask open questions like, “What’s been hardest?” or “What could make this easier?” Let them lead the conversation and celebrate small wins: “I really admire how you’ve found new ways to stay connected with your friends—that shows a lot of resilience and maturity.” If something doesn’t work, treat it as an experiment and try again.
This transition won’t be easy. For many young people, losing social media feels like losing a community or a part of their identity. But with empathy, open communication, and a little creativity, families can navigate this together. And if you need extra support, resources like the eSafety Commissioner, Headspace, and Raising Children Network offer practical advice for coping with the change and building healthy digital habits.
Banner image: Mariia Shalabaieva, Unsplash.